Organization! It’s one of our biggest challenges. I don’t like to brag (much), but I think I’ve found a system that works. At least it works for me. I call it Taylor’s Piles. It’s really just a group of categories for structuring your piling system.
What? You were looking for help with your filing system?
Sorry, I don’t do filing, not mine, not yours, not anyone else’s. I do piling. View full article »
I’ve been trying to figure out how to learn from each of them, but I think I’ve figured something else out. I figured out that I need to learn from all of them. I need to learn what is flawed in my decision making process
I may have part of the answer and I’d like to share. When we have a decision to make, we know that there are pros and cons to either choice. If we’re organized we can list them and study them. If we’re not, we tend to list them mentally. Our list has no headings so the pros and cons are in the same column, they’re not prioritized, there is no weight assigned to each one. Not good!
Another drawback at this stage, for me at least, is that there is an imperative feeling, a need for immediacy about making decisions. I feel I have to make a decision ‘cause not making a decision is holding everything else up. I usually consider the first pro or con … and then decide.
Also, we don’t benefit from making bad decisions. Normans (you remember them, right?) make bad decisions and then say “That was a learning experience.” and they learn from it. We make bad decisions and say “That was a learning experience.” and promptly forget. Or sometimes we just put off ever making that decision again. That’s a kind of learning – I guess – but not really. Bottom line for this point is, we don’t consider past experience when we make a decision.
Another point worth considering is poor decision making structures. Sometimes we make bad decisions over and over because we think we have a good plan in place. But, if it isn’t flexible, it isn’t a good plan. If you make a decision based on a plan, and it shows itself to be a bad decision, you should have the flexibility to change your decision making structure, your plan, the next time you encounter that situation.
I knew a woman once, name withheld to protect me from being hunted down and beaten up, who refused to divorce her estranged husband and marry the guy she was living with because she did not want to end up like her mother who was on her fourth or fifth (who counts after three, eh?) marriage.
I wasn’t going to publish a post last Friday, I was to swamped. I told a friend of mine this, adding that I might feel guilty and end up putting one up anyway. I publish three posts a week and haven’t missed a week this year. She told me that she had recently heard that guilt was a form of narcissism. She said I should “[...] figure out what that means and let it guide you [...]” and it occurred to me that she was asking me to do something totally foreign to my nature. She was telling me to think … then decide. I didn’t, I thought about it until my mind wandered to something else. In the end I just didn’t get around to writing a post. Decision made by default.
I did decide, all by myself, to write this post though, and if you’re reading it then I obviously decided to post it (even at the risk of being hunted down and beaten up …).
And now I think I’ll go check my email. Wow, three decisions in one day, I’m on a roll. Now if I could just decide to work that thinking thing in …
I’ve noticed that I beat myself up quite a bit over things. These are things I blame myself for automatically it seems and when I analyze my anger I often find I’m being unfair. I was having trouble defining this situation – trouble figuring out why I did this. View full article »
Okay, confession time, I love British sitcoms. Not all of them, but too many of them to list here.
Well, I hate TV! Okay, I hate what TV does to me. Thanks to my ADHD I find myself regaining consciousness, when the box snaps off, vague and hazy memories of staring vacantly and vacuously comatose at a screen that’s grabbed my attention. View full article »
I’ve read recently that if you’re an ADHDer you’re not likely going to be rich and famous. I’ve also read that that’s no reason to stop trying. Admittedly I’m not rich, and it’s not in my foreseeable future, but I know how to be famous. View full article »
Before I knew I had ADHD I was as uneducated about it as the next uneducated person. Sorry that sounds redundant, but bear with me.
I didn’t understand ADHD but I also knew I was easily distracted. This knowledge allowed me to be compassionate with people who had ADHD. View full article »
I’ve always thought that a holistic approach to health had a lot to offer. The idea that the body, in its entirety, should have a say in its own treatment is an amazing concept. If we accept this concept then we must consider the body’s cravings as part of that information, as having some validity. View full article »
Relationships are tricky at the best of times. When two people try to interact, they often start out feeling like they know each other completely. This false sense of intimate knowledge can be carried on for quite a while as they make use of transference and denial to maintain a friendship that makes them feel a warm and positive bond. View full article »
A familiar tune, if you live in my head, and with good reason. Caffeine is a stimulant, and I need stimulation - well, okay, I don’t need traditional stimulation, I’m up to speed and beyond inside my head. But it turns out that substances referred to as stimulants actually cause a focusing effect. And I need focus! As mentioned earlier in this blog, I have ADHD. View full article »
Those of you who know me well know that I don’t particularly like to go shopping. Once there and resigned to the task I usually engage and become amenable, even participatory, but I don’t look forward to it. View full article »
