I’m a bit flip at times, but I get away with it because I keep moving. Luckily I like to get my human interaction in small quick doses.
Sometimes I have to leave quickly
For example, I was walking past a doctors office and saw a sign on the door that said “Please remove winter boots and put on trays provided.” I couldn’t resist. I poked my head in the door and asked the receptionist if she had size 10 trays.
Some years ago I got my first car with cruise control (yeah, yeah, old, I know). The first time out in it I said to my passenger “I think it’s time I looked for a new job.” “Why?” she asked. I pointed to the cruise control button marked [resume] and said “This is the first car I’ve owned that can help me with my resumé.” A few weeks later, starting up the same car I saw the air bag idiot light come on. I’d seen it before. I’d looked it up. It comes on when it checks the airbag system. I shook my head in mock surprise and said “How? How does it know we’re going to pick up your mother?” If it hadn’t been funny, I’d have been in pretty big trouble.
I don’t always escape trouble
Another time my sister in law was staring at my feet. “Do you have swollen ankles?”
“Nope, but I do suffer occasionally from thick in-laws …” Yes, I got in trouble for that one.
Here’s where I have to talk about my ADHD. It seems the right amount of inappropriateness, coupled with impulsiveness and wit, can get me a lot of laughs. If I can make others laugh it has a reciprocal and positive effect on me.
Like many with ADHD, I can wait in lines or waiting rooms for only so long without distraction. But I’ve found I can be the distraction, and that makes time fly. I’ll start talking to the person ahead of me or beside me and soon have them laughing. If I include others in the conversation, I can sometimes get a whole room full of people to realize we all have this moment in common. We can sit, quietly staring at our navels, or we can share, chatter and laugh, realizing that we’re all in this together.
The selfish side of being positive
I’ve discovered another up side to this. In a store, office or coffee shop, if I make the effort to make people smile, I usually get much better service than others. I can’t prove this, but I believe it all the same. I hear people complain about the service they receive here or there and I have to say I can’t remember the last time I got really bad service.
I’ve already talked about ordering chicken in an earlier post. and some of my best stuff does happen in coffee shops and restaurants. Here’s a couple more examples of the carnival in my mind spilling out into other people’s lives.
When I’m buying two or more coffees in a coffee shop I’m always asked if I need a take-out tray. My usual reply: “No thanks, we just hit our heads together when we drink from one of those.”
I take my coffee with a half a cream. A young woman behind the counter once brought my coffee and asked “How’s this look?”
I said “It’s like you’re reading my mind.”
She put her thumb and finger up to the side of her head and squinted for a moment. “I seem to be getting something about a big tip …”
“Oooh,” I replied, “I think you’re picking up someone else now.” Whenever I see her, we still laugh about that.
So that’s how humour helps me. If you get something you can use from this, great. If not … I’d love to hear about your social and coping tools, I’m always up for learning new things and everyone has something to teach.
And now, if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s time for a cup of coffee, and maybe a smothered chicken … Ciao

