I’ve just finished watching (for the umpteenth time) The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, but this time I was wondering why there was no definitive guide to life with ADHD. Where’s my Hitchhikers Guide with friendly, reassuring printing on the outside cover?
I know, there are books on ADHD that we think of as definitive works, the be all and end all, the “Book of books,” as it were.
There are books that cover ADHD in general, and books that teach specific lessons, lessons on romance: “ADD & Romance” and finance: “ADD and Your Money” and many other aspects of ADHD life. And that’s all well and good to advise us to stay out of trouble, stay out of certain situations, but what about when it’s too late?
And additionally, what about situations over which we have no control? Stress, induced by life, can make our ADHD worse. Damned few of us have the presence of mind to run to our book shelves to look up job loss, bereavement, illness or marital dysfunction in one of our myriad of reference works. Some of these topics aren’t even covered.
Are we to believe that if a subject isn’t included in our books that it doesn’t matter, that it’s mostly harmless? Or are we just to play it by ear and trust in our instincts to carry us through until someone writes about it?
And those of us who are late to the dance, that is those of us who have been diagnosed late in life, have many years of living life unaware to make up for. We’ve tried to do the right thing without the assistance of the self help library and have probably done many things wrong. To complete the previous metaphor, we’re not only late to the dance, but we’re wearing the wrong shoes.
So, again I ask, where is my guide? Where is my help? Where is the friendly reassuring printing on the outside cover of the self help book I need?
Oh Wait, Here It Is …
I’ll tell you where it is, it’s embedded in the kind words of friends who, like gypsies, band together and support each others quirkiness and understand much of what goes on in each others minds. They also accept the things they don’t understand, just as they know you will accept them. It’s true that no two of us are the same in most respects. But many of us have this in common: we are the ones who will reach out our hand to any one of our own, and pull them back up on their feet, ’cause we know they may have to do that for us as soon as tomorrow.
And sometimes, two or more of us will find each other down and in need, and amazingly, we can still reach out and pick each other up at the same time.
My Weekend Guides
This weekend I was picked up and carried by two people who have just come into my life in the last couple of weeks. Together we revelled in each others uniqueness and leaned on each others strength. We talked and worked and found common ground where we could feel at home, accepted.
And while I am a long way from healed, I’m so much closer than I was four days ago. Friendship is a commodity to be treasured and valued. Friendship is that Hitchhikers Guide to ADHD I’ve been seeking.