Hey Canada! It’s May 2nd. Do you know what that means?
Is this a coincidence? Maybe, but it’s a bad one.
If you said “Election Day!” you’re right, but if you said “Income Tax Day!” well, you’d also be right.
Get the vote out
Since becoming old enough to vote, I’ve never missed an election. My first vote was cast when I was 18, that was the year the age of majority was reduced from 21 to 18. Right after I cast my ballot they realized their mistake and raised the age to 19. Too little, too late. Before the next election rolled around I was of voting age again. And I’ve never looked back.
I find this to be a very taxing issue
But back to the other topic, income tax returns. I’m up to date on my taxes, ’til midnight tonight that is. After that … well, let’s just say that I hope to get them done soon. It doesn’t help that I recently found out that other members of the ADHD community don’t keep up with this barbarian practice of going over your ludicrously unproductive finances for the sole purpose of calculating how much money you’re expected to give away. Why should I file on time if others don’t?
I’ve often thought taxes should be collected at one point, where wages actually change hands from employer to employee. I also believe that tax should be a flat rate. If you make twenty times more than someone else, you should pay twenty times more. And lets stop this ridiculous filing thing. No more T1’s and T4’s, no more deadlines, you pay what you pay and you make what you make. Over, finito, done!
No salvation for me
Alas, this isn’t going to happen soon, at least not soon enough for me to weasel out of doing my taxes this year.
But how to do them? In previous years I’ve made a start by organizing everything into a pile. Yes, an ADHD pile. I then check to see that I have everything. This is an exercise in stupidity, since, until I actually start doing them I have no idea what I’ll need. Usually, during this first session, I’ll fill in the personal info, and likely call it a day.
By the time I get them done, my taxes are always late. It doesn’t help that I never have to pay, I always get a refund, so even though I file late, I never pay interest either.
Electrifying tax revolution
But this year, if when I get started, I’d like to do them in one session. I’ve devised an elaborate scheme that involves booster cables, a car battery, a knife switch from the set of a Frankenstein movie and a chain and shackle. The instant I try to wander away from my task, the shackle on my leg will drag the chain attached to the knife switch causing the switch to drop into the on position. The switch will turn on the circuit that allows juice to flow from the car battery through the booster cables which I will have attached to my feet. That ought to sit me back down fast.
… I wonder how many jolts it’ll take to discharge the battery …
And hey, go vote! … because I said so, that’s why! And because you owe it to the people who have fought to give you that right, you owe it to your parents, your siblings, your children, your community, your country and, most importantly, yourself.
